Simple Survival from the Scorching Summer Sun

I'm really thankful that the flight from Brisbane to Melbourne is only a brief one (stretching to just a little over two hours flight time), more so because I've had to take the flight with an infant. Not just any infant, an incredibly wriggly and curious 11 month old infant. More to the point: my son. Being the festive season, and with my partners family living in Victoria, we took a soujourn to the southern part of the country. Some hope for a relaxing holiday, and most of all for cooler weather.

Victoria is very well known for it's unbelievably random weather patterns, and it's not uncommon for there to be days of cold and rain in the middle of summer. In fact, I had the first cold wet Christmas day in my life this year. It seems my life was incomplete before then, but it doesn't beat waking up to a blanket of snow outside your window, this, however, is not my point. My point is, I'm from Queensland where the weather is horrendously hot for 10 of the 12 months of a year, and I had been hoping for a cool change while here in the 'cooler' climate of the southern states. Not the case.

Don't get me wrong, there have been a couple of days where I've had to pull out a jumper and turn on the electric blanket, but they total a grand total of TWO out of 20 days so far. So, while I may have laughed merrily at my friends and family sweltering in hot and humid weather over Christmas, it would appear that Karma has come to bite me in the arse as we end the year 2005 in a dry and dusty 42 degrees celcius, with no sign of rain or relief on the horizon for several days.

So, how does one pass the time in these unsavoury conditions? I bet you were wondering how this related to 'The Guide'. There are many different ways, sitting in a bathtub filled with cold water, drinking ice cold drinks around the local swimming pool, locking yourself inside with the air conditioning turned to 'Siberia', but I preferred the way I relaxed in the hottest day since I started my holiday.

Begin by sleeping in as late as you can. If you don't have a well insulate residence this could mean getting up when the sun does, but you benefit best from a fairly good sleep when the weather wants to try and wear you down in this manner. Coffee and breakfast, or whatever your morning routine is, followed by diving into the car and heading out onto the open road. There are several benefits to driving in the heat: 1. Most cars come with air conditioning, so the air is comfortable and cool. Ok, so I can only think of one thing about driving in the summer heat, but it's a damn good one!

Once in the car it doesn't matter where you go, but don't be in a rush to get there. Take a relaxing country tour and stop into various towns along the way. Sit at street front cafes and sip on cold drinks or lie under trees in parks. Why not adventure into nature reserves or go on wine tours? Not only will you see places you never knew about, but you'll stay cool and calm and feel a great deal better at the end of the day when you finally hit the sack. It's just a perfect way to spend a horrible day.

If all else fails, you can always fill the bathtub full of cold water, grab the fan, a few cold ones and drag the TV into the bathroom.

30.12.05

The pseudo-nerds attempt at techno-salve

Computers. I'm seriously beginning to hate them. I spend far too much of my time using them and they give me nothing of value in return. Don't get me wrong, I'm not totally against them, I just want the one I'm using to be less of the hassle that it is. To be honest, I can't wait to get a laptop, then I can forget about my PC for a while and let it dwell on its lonliness for a while. Yes, my computer is a sentient being, I swear it! Of course, this will mean that my computer issues will transfer to a new medium, so I won't be able to escape them all that easily.

So why do computers have to be so much hassle? Why are there people out there hell bent on destroying everyone's desktop machine for a few measley moments of laughter and mirth? The amount of time I've spent 'protecting' my computer from virus and hacker attacks is incredible. When I'm not casually browsing for information, I'm updating all of my virus and spyware applications so that my computer doesn't implode from random external unwanted attention! And despite this attention to detail towards my computers protection and survival I STILL get some little bugger who thinks he's clever because he's slipped in through the back door during a nano second of downtime.

Recently I was having issues with pop ups telling me there was some problem with my registry (something I knew to be untrue) and could think of no other way to stop these annoying buggers from intruding on my life than to reformat and rebuild the hard drive from scratch. I also thought "Why not finally get around to installing that Ubuntu Linux software while I'm at it". Oh. Dear. I was under the false impression that this would make my life easier and more carefree than usual. I've never had issues with reformatting before, things should be 'peachy'. Everything appeared to be going okay with the whole project (except that windows didn't understand the concept of 'repartitioning', thankfully Linux did), the new partitions were in place and Ubuntu installed perfectly! Time for Windoze.

Hands up those of you who have ever had a problem with Microsoft's 'pioneer' operating system...I suspect there will be a very large number of hands in the air right now. Having only ever used this one OS, I've encountered many a problem with it's ability to do anything. So, I was not at all surprised (but incredibly frustrated) to find out that it had completely wiped over the boot loader for Ubuntu, so that I no longer received the 'dual boot' option at start up. "That's fine," I thought. "I'll just reinstall Ubuntu and fix it all up"

Now I'm beginning to think all software companies are out to get me. Ubuntu cannot recognise it's existence on the hard drive, and (with the help of it's arch nemesis Windoze) has wiped out our F: partition. Meaning the loss of nearly 40gigabytes of information and programs. Including backups of our recordings! Here's hoping we can salvage the situation and get things back into working order.

Can you see now why I'm beginning to hate computers?

Dementia in the kitchen: A culinary adventure

Time passes swiftly when you're not watching. Another anniversary snuck up on me the other day, and it's one I'm always thinking about, so it really surprised me when I almost forgot it. In retrospect however, there were things I did which could represent a bit of an unconscience acknowledgement of the momentous occasion. Anyway, I'm not here to lament on my diminishing memory here, I'm here to guide you through the process of creating a delicious anniversary meal completely off the cuff!

I don't claim to be a culinary genius, but I can be creative enough in the kitchen to make each evening's meal a taste sensation (or complete and utter tastebud killer). In an effort to save money I've taken up preparing a great deal of our meals from scratch. On this occasion I had decided (after much indecision) on chicken sausage rolls. Anyone who has ever eaten chicken, or a sausage roll, knows that to combine the two in the exact fashion you make regular sausage rolls, can result in a rather bland dish that smells a lot like onions. If you don't, it tends to result in a rather bland dish that smells a lot like onions.

The first time I ventured down the road of the home made sausage roll resulted in a meal with about as much flavour as a piece of shoe rubber and left us with rather horrid onion breath. The kind of onion breath that could strip paint off walls. So this time I planned to try something different, and hope that it would be flavoursome.

With a plan in my head I made for the kitchen to start preparing, only to find missing ingredients. A quick trip to the shop (store) to pick up missing items ended up with me buying more than initially planned and a complete change to the recipe. So, with new ingredients I set about making dinner.

Chicken Sausage Rolls with Spinach and Fetta Cheese

1 lean chicken breast; minced
1/2 onion; finely chopped
75g frozen spinach; shaved
1/2 block of fetta cheese; thinly cubed
2 sheets puff pastry
8 whole black pepper corns
salt; to flavour
mixed herbs

Preheat oven to 180 celcius.
Allow pastry to thaw at room temperature (or however the package says you should deal with the pastry)
Mince the chicken breast. I used my hand mixer, pulsing it til the meat was minced. You can use a food processor or hand mincer or whatever you have handy. Place the meat into a bowl.
Finely chop the onion, slice the fetta and shave the spinach. Grind the pepper corns with a mortar and pestle. Add onion, spinach, fetta, herbs, salt and pepper to minced chicken. Mix together thoroughly.
To mix the filling, use your hands for the best mix, but you can also use a spoon.
Lay first sheet of puff pastry flat and spoon half of the filling onto the second quarter of the sheet. Spread the filling so that it looks 'sausage' like and reaches both edges of the pastry. Fold the shortest piece of pastry over the filling, then carefully roll until completely closed. Place on a flat oven tray. Repeat with second pastry sheet.
Cook for 30 minutes or until golden brown.

Serves 2 - 4 persons.

Why not try it out and see how you like it. It went down a major success here at Camp Ward, and has been requested for another meal at another time. Go on, you know you want to. Bon apetite!

Granting Wishes

With Christmas just around the corner, and my rather successful luncheon out of the way, it's time to think about that annual tradition of the 'Kriss Kringle'. Despitethe fact I really despise this time fo the year for it's blatant consumerism, my lack of religious affiliation and simply because I'm a lazy, lazy person, there are occasions when I'm capable of partaking in the whole gift giving affair (it's usually with lots of kicking and screaming and a loud "Do I have to?").

The hardest part about giving people gifts is the guessing what it is they would really like. Often times I've been known to buy something I think I might like hoping the recipient has similar interests and tastes. That's where wish lists come in the handiest. And it's online superstores like Amazon.com we have to thank for bringing these things into the forefront of the gift giving community.

What is a wish list? Well, it's a list of things you wish you could have. How simple! While you're browsing around the internet and you see things you really want, but can't yet afford, you add them to your wish list, which you can email to your family and close friends and then sit back and hope that they get the hint. These lists, however, are somewhat of the largely expensive and commercial variety, requiring you to part with medium to large sums of money depending on the gift.

The origin of the wish list is really quite easy to trace. Remember when you were a kid and you wrote letters to Santa with pages and pages of things you wanted dropped under the Christmas tree? In the same tradition of the Santa Letter, you don't always get what you want, but it doesn't mean you can't put what you didn't get this year on the list for next year. ANd you can use that list for ALL occasions requiring a present: birthdays, Easter (cuz diamand earrings make you look better than the hip expanding chocolate you'd normally get), weddings, random celebration. They are so versatile.

Back to the whole 'Kriss Kringle' affair I was mentioning earlier. Thanks to wish lists and blogging, the whole Christmas present exchange program has been made simpler. All you need to do is trowl through your friends blogs and see what's on their Christmas wish list, pick something you know you can provide and go about getting it! It's the best way to buy gifts, because it's something they want, and you don't have to hurt your brain trying to think of something they're probably not going to like.

So, go out there and start scrounging through wish lists to find the 'perfect' gift for your friends. If all else fails, you can always make them a mix tape of 'I wasn't sure what to get you for Christmas/your birthday/random celebration' songs.

Time for a Festive Feast

So Christmas has snuck up behind us yet again this year, and despite the fact that it hasn't changed since last year and I'm not at all interested in it, I thought I'd let you in on a little bit of what I've been doing to 'celebrate' it.

I've decided to gather a few friends together for a lovely Christmas themed buffet. The object of the buffet is for each guest to bring a plate of food with a festive theme (or something you would consider to be a 'once a year' dish), so that all who attend have a nice array of foods to choose from.

Now, I'm not really the kind of person who goes out of her way to celebrate events anymore. I barely even register my birthday these days (but it doesn't stop me from informing everyone of it's impending arrival). So for me to throw a Christmas themed luncheon is really quite out of character, which is why I've chosen to go for the 'bring a dish' variety.

There are many ways to look at the 'bring a dish' lunch/dinner party, and you'd be absolutely right with all of your varying thoughts. It is a big deal to prepare a buffet of food for up to 20 people on your own tight food budget, and it is also difficult to be able to efficiently cater for various diets with said budget. So, by asking people to bring a plate of food not only helps to fill the buffet table, it also allows the guest to provide for their own diet should someone else not. It is also a fabulous way to get a wonderful selection of exotic dishes to nibble at as you please, and I'm always a fan of sampling other peoples cooking.

However, saying that, I've also planned to supply a lovely compliation of foods to add to the buffet. It's only fair that I do, as I'm the one throwing the party!

Now, seeing as I live in Australia, and the weather at this time of the year is hotting at a rapid rate, I've chosen to make some yummy summer salads. Here's a list:

• Potato Salad - Potato (main ingredient), egg, spring onion, dressing.
• Coleslaw - Red and white cabbage, carrot, dressing.
• Pasta Salad - Tri-colour pasta, corn, capsicum, celery, carrot, cucumber, mushroom mayonnaise
• Greek Salad - Lettuce, tomato, fetta cheese, olive oil, balsamic vinegar dressing

Are you hungry yet? Well, there's one more thing I need to add to the list, and that's the spicy chicken wings. Then you have a complete smorgasboard of goodies to feast upon, and there is yet much more to come!

This is just one way in which you can celebrate the festive season, and I'm sure there are plenty of ideas floating thorugh your head already for ways to make this year's Christmas a gourmet smash. I know I'm already planning what I'm going to do for Easter....

That First Cup of Coffee in the Morning: A monkey's Ritual

This is a recent article I posted on my other blog, I thought it would make a good first entry into the guide.

Yet another morning has come my way, a little earlier than usual: infants have their way of intervening your well practiced skill of extended sleep. So, up and out of bed I get, and once I've fed and changed the baby, before I do anything else I head to the kitchen and towards the pantry where the bitter gold is kept.

My morning coffee ritual is somewhat different to most people I know. Many simply grab a jar of their favourite instant brand, while others open up a vacuum bag of pre ground coffee beans. At Ward Lodge however, we're dedicated to our coffee. That is not to say we have a plantation in the backyard, though if you saw it (the backyard) you'd never tell either way. No, we have two separate rituals when it comes to preparing our wake up juice. For now, I'll just let you inside my personal ritual.

When I go to the pantry, I grab my jar of Bushells Turkish Coffee. A delicious pulverised coffee of Arabic nature. Next, I stretch down for the container of raw sugar. These items are then placed upon the kitchen bench, while I hunt out my coffee scoup and briki. For reference, a briki is pretty much a milk warmer with a fancy name. Once I've tracked down my two most important utensils (the cup comes later), I scoup up two scoups of coffee and dump it into the briki and follow that up with a single scoup of sugar. Water is poured over the top (approximately enough to fill my Vittoria Coffee thermal mug).

Over to the stove I toddle with my briki in hand. Light the flame (for those of us with gas. If it's an electric stove, then whatever is done to make it hot) and put the briki on the flame (or element). I have a tendency to wander away from the stove for a little too long when I'm doing this, and often have to clean up the spillage, but the idea is to watch for it to start boiling and then remove it from the heat. I boil it three times, as part of my personal ritual. I prefer the flavour of a triple boiled Turkish brew. Once boiled I pour it directly into my cup and allow it to settle and cool enough to begin drinking.

One thing to note about this coffee is the 'mud' or 'sediment' that settles at the bottom of the cup. I'm not a very big fan of this stuff, but I know a couple of people who like to stir it up and drink it. I say very loudly: ICK!

Well, that's my morning coffee ritual.

Introduction

Welcome to The Amateurs Guide to Everything You Never Wanted to do or Know. The premise behind this project is to simply write about things I've done and describe them to you. Think of me as that annoying person who's always telling you about their holidays, or the most intimate details of their 'romantic' evening with some random stranger, only with less annoyance (hopefully). I like to think of this 'guide' like a tourist map of some exotic foreign city outlining all the best things to visit, the difference here being the lack of exotic location and possibly of fun and exciting things to see and do.

To give you an idea of what I plan to put forth for your reading (dis)pleasure, I give you the following list:

• Making Coffee - From preparing the raw materials to what utensils to use.
• Taking Fotos - From old skool cameras to mobile fones.
• Reviews of cds - Broadway to the Hollywood Bowl
• Movie Reviews - If I've seen it, I'll tell you about it.
• Babies - What I know and What I don't

I'm not even going to come close to actually making believe I know much about anything I'm writing about. I'm merely a hobbyist, an amateur who likes to document a few things I find interesting and share it with people. You don't even have to know or like it. What you have to do is choose whether or not to read it. I leave that decision completely up to you. If you do choose to read and don't like what you see, please do not abuse me. If you happen to disagree with something I have written, please refrain from making abusive comments. These are my documentations of the way I performed something. It will not always be in line with other peoples thoughts and ideals.

Thankyou for taking the time to peruse my catelogue of randomness. I hope you enjoy yourself.

til next....
~Kits~